so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
