I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
