If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
