He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
