I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
