i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I supernannyed him into submission
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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