he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
