we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
