Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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