are you still at the devil's house?
so explain again why im purple
no
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
