i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
