Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
