This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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