Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
