if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
