So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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