My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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