i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
