i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
