Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize