Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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