D3 body, D1 cock
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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