at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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