go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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