I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize