singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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