Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
