I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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