he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
