I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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