i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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