ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
