Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
