Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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