I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
