glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
