the new term for farting is butt boxing.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm like, not good at living.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
