We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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