yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
