I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
