There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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