That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
