bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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