wat bout pragnant strippers??
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
