I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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