sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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