what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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