so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
