My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
