Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
