So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My dick has a subreddit
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
