she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize