she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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