Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
