:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
