oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
