is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
