in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
