I CAN MOONWALK!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
