i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
