I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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