yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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