my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
