Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
