I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
