I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
